keep off

keep off

Monday, 3 February 2014

Vintage Pornography

I have a new smart phone.

It looks great and works perfectly.  I mention this because I want to remember the moment. I know it will not last for long, because soon, Jamie will break it.  Perhaps he will knock it out of my hand, and it will fall on the floor and shatter, like the last one?  Or perhaps I will leave it lying around and he will throw it out of a first floor window, like the one before that?

I am just savouring the moment - enjoying being at the forefront of technology  (well, within sight of the forefront) for once.  I know that before long my lovely phone will be destroyed, and I will have to go back to using that little blue phone with the scratched screen that I bought in 2002 that Jamie, for some reason, never feels the urge to destroy.

While feeding Jamie yesterday, I noticed that my new phone has a voice recognition feature that allows you to use Google to search the internet by speaking into it rather than typing.  I decided to test it out, and thought for a second about what I would like search for.  

"Black and white movies" I said.

Jamie, sat next to me at the time, objected to this for some reason, and shouted out "No daddy!".  My phone heard what he said, and tagged his words onto the end of the search.  Unfortunately though,  because his diction is not great, it misheard him.  I looked at my phone and found that instead of Googling "black and white movies no daddy" I had Googled "black and white movies nudity."

What worries me about this is that I know Google records all these search terms, and I am probably on a list now.  If old age pensioners start disappearing in my area I am going to get a knock on the door.

I am just glad I did not say "children's movies."

No comments:

Post a Comment